Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
