I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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