So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
