I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drake has all the answers
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
