hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My life is pants optional.
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