This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
