What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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