I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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