I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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