I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
