Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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