just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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