I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
