so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Houston, we have a squirter
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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