omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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