I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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