okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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