I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
