i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I believe in your delicious
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
