Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize