They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
