Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
