I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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