I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
