What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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