Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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