woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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