what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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