I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
