we have pet lesbian snakes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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