Your tits are I can't wait for
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
