It's Friday. Sex?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
