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• (314): View more from Missouri

  My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.

  (585): View more from New York

  I hate you.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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• (845): View more from New York

  He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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• (914): View more from New York

  He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.

  (234): View more from Ohio

  ... other people's boyfriends.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a hoe opinion

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  go on

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