It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize