You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
