At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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