My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
4 words: hood of his car
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
