You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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