oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
