We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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