actually, I'm a sock model
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
