It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
