You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize