Since when is my name a synonym for head?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We are all done wearing pants today
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
