i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
