Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Come on in and take your pants off
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