I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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