I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
