I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
