i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
