In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
