You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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