I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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