I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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