i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
