it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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