So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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