from now on my penis is your penis
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Randomize
