She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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