I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
