she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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