I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
