it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
